An Eternal Tee Time Option For Die-Hard Golfers

Play associated audio

The most involved sports fans cannot let a little thing like death get in their way for their devotion to a team.

For several years now it's been possible to buy caskets that feature the logo of your favorite, so that you can lie forever with, say, the emblem of the Chicago Cubs resting right before your sightless eyes. Not perfect, but the best available option.

Several other themes are also available. For example, a casket titled "The Race Is Over," featuring, appropriately, a checkered flag, will provide the NASCAR fan with a fitting pit stop in his lifelong oval journey. My favorite of the genre is a "Gone Fishin'" casket, which provides sort of a double meaning as the deceased angler heads off into the unknown beyond.

Although it is not available yet, I think it would be especially appropriate if ESPN could bring out a themed casket. Those gentlemen who have spent so many hours attached to the channel would surely feel at home, then, in its embrace forever.

Nothing, however, in this line has prepared us for what golf fans now can enjoy should they wish to spend eternity in Bellevue, Wash., a suburb of Seattle. There, we now have the Sunset Hills Memorial Golf Park, a simulated golf course, complete with all the links features, where golfers may be laid to rest. We talk about bad shots being "buried" in the sand or the rough, but now you too may come to rest there.

I'm sure, too, there are no bad lies at Sunset Hills.

Arne Swanson, a golfer himself, who conceived the idea of a golf cemetery, has even designated sand traps for those who wish to be cremated and have their urns deposited there. As Swanson says, now for duffers, you can "spend eternity in the bunker."

Sunset Hills also provides a large leaderboard, where your name will be listed, if you wish to reserve a future tee time while still being able to putt upright.

Surely, only golfers would be, uh, down with this idea. Somehow I can't imagine any tennis players wanting to be buried courtside or bowlers underneath an alley. But then golf is always culturally unique. Has it ever occurred to you, for instance, that golf is the only sport with jokes? Really, have you ever in your life heard a tennis joke or a basketball joke? Just golf jokes. Of course, virtually almost all of them are a variation on the same theme: the husband who neglects his wife all the time, playing another 18.

And now, with Sunset Hills, and any other golf cemeteries that might sprout up, the punch line forever will be: At last, he's one under.

Copyright 2011 National Public Radio. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

NPR

'Star Wars' Editors Defy Hollywood Conventions

In a film industry often dominated by men, there's at least one exception: Many editors are women. Maryann Brandon and Mary Jo Markey speak about their work on the new Star Wars.
NPR

Florida Says Its Fruits, Vegetables Are Safe From Invasive Fruit Fly

Since September, Florida has been fighting an infestation of the Oriental fruit fly, an invasive pest that threatened more than 400 crops. The state declared the insect eradicated as of Saturday.
NPR

7 Things To Know About Presidential Appointments To The Supreme Court

Republicans are adamant they will stop anyone President Obama names to replace for Antonin Scalia on the Supreme Court. It's possible Obama's nominee would face the longest wait in history for a vote.
NPR

West Point Students' Plan To Counter ISIS Online Strategy

The State Department sponsored a contest to find the best ways to combat ISIS propaganda online. A group of cadets from West Point got second prize. Rachel Martin speaks with team member CJ Drew.

Leave a Comment

Help keep the conversation civil. Please refer to our Terms of Use and Code of Conduct before posting your comments.