In With The South, Out With The East | WAMU 88.5 - American University Radio
Filed Under:

In With The South, Out With The East

Play associated audio

OK, here's the idea: Greece leaves the EU and jumps to the SEC.

Bingo! With all the television and bowl money it would get, Greece would be solvent again, and the Southeastern Conference would get that big Athens TV market.

You see, everybody talks about how colleges are all switching conferences, but essentially, they all just want to jump to the SEC or whatever best emulates the SEC. It's the Solid South of college football. Once, the South used to control Congress. Now, y'all: the gridiron.

Especially, Northern Big East schools are seeking Southern comfort. They all can't get into the SEC, so they'll settle for the Dixie next door — the Atlantic Coast Conference: Boston College left first, now Pittsburgh and Syracuse. West Virginia is the only one that didn't get the memo. The Mountaineers want to leave the Big East for the Big Twelve. Hellooo, West Virginia: You're, like, ditching Michelle Bachmann's campaign to get on the Newt Gingrich bandwagon.

But the poor Big East. When it was first created in 1979, it was a stupendous basketball conference, loaded with all those Northeastern Roman Catholic inner-city colleges like St. John's and Providence and Seton Hall that didn't field big-time pigskin combines.

But then college basketball went into decline because all the good players drop by for one year, attend a class or two and hop to the NBA. Nobody knows who anybody is in college basketball anymore. It's like drone warfare. Anonymous slam-dunks.

College basketball, which starts this week, now consists entirely of, No. 1: the Blue Devils and the Tarheels down together in Carolina; No. 2: wherever it is that John Calipari has taken his portfolio with this year's bunch of transient freshmen; and No. 3: UConn, if it can keep anybody eligible. Plus, of course, Dick Vitale, screaming at the top of his lungs.

The Big East is more like a commune now than a conference. Everybody does his own thing. Some teams, like pretty soon, one that's all the way to the far East — in Idaho — only play football in the Big East. One just drops in to play lacrosse.

Others, though, play in lots of the conference's sports. Notre Dame plays most everything, except it won't deign to play Big East football. Gino Auriemma, the UConn women's basketball coach, says if Notre Dame won't compete in Big East football, it should get its Irish derriere out of league basketball, too. But Notre Dame still thinks it's too good to be in just anybody's football conference. Notre Dame is still under the illusion that it's China, when everybody else knows that, really, now, it's just Taiwan.

You see, the SEC is what Notre Dame used to be. The Irish ought to wise up, lower their academic standards and go plead to get into the SEC before Greece does.

Over all this, the NCAA pretends to preside. The NCAA is to college football in 2011 what the League of Nations was to Europe in 1935.

Copyright 2011 National Public Radio. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

WAMU 88.5

Audiences Get A Modern Look At A 19th Century Opera

Opera as seen through the lens of Google Glass? Wolf Trap is giving audiences the chance to mix technology with Bizet’s classic "Carmen" this month.
NPR

Can You Trust That Organic Label On Imported Food?

A new book claims the organic label can't be trusted, especially on food that's imported. Yet there is a global system for verifying the authenticity of organic food, and it mostly seems to work.
NPR

Insurance For Fake Identities The Latest Skirmish Over Obamacare

Republicans say a sting in which false identities were used to sign up for health care has revealed a major problem. Democrats question the premise that people would try to steal insurance.
NPR

A Plan To Untangle Our Digital Lives After We're Gone

In the digital age, our online accounts don't die with us. A proposed law might determine what does happen to them. But the tech industry warns the measure could threaten the privacy of the deceased.

Leave a Comment

Help keep the conversation civil. Please refer to our Terms of Use and Code of Conduct before posting your comments.