Sandwich Monday: Fish McBites | WAMU 88.5 - American University Radio

NPR : News

Filed Under:

Sandwich Monday: Fish McBites

The McDonald's menu is a sacred document, like the Constitution. You can't just add things willy-nilly. It took hard work and sacrifice to add the Fourth Amendment, the McRib, and the Twenty-third Amendment, the Snack Wrap. Now, a new item called Fish McBites seeks ratification.

Miles: Fish McBites — for the bottom feeder in all of us.

Ian: I can't wait to wash this down with McDonald's new Chumrock Shake.

Mike: This is great for Catholics at Easter. Few things capture the spirit of Lent more than the words, "I'll have the Fish McBites."

Fish McBites come in a special container, which has a little slot to hold your tartar sauce, and a clever little well for your tears.

Mike: The special container makes it easy to eat while driving ... to your colon cleanse.

Eva: It is clever. An even better container would be one that doesn't open so you don't have to eat these.

Ian: They went with the name "Fish McBites" because the name "Cat Food" was already taken.

Miles: Fish McBites are definitive proof that things are most assuredly not better down where it's wetter, under the sea.

Peter: I threw them into a dumpster, because, you know, catch and release.

Ian: Just putting a "Mc" in front of something doesn't mean it's edible. That said, I'm excited for the McHorse.

Mike: Really, though. This is a great meal for people scared off by the horse meat scandal. It's a terrible meal for anyone worried about the seahorse meat scandal.

Eva: Which of the Seven McSeas of the World are these Fish McBites from?

Robert: What kind of fish are these made from? Crappie?

Peter: It says it's "Alaskan Pollock," which I thought was a guy smearing canvases with herring guts.

Miles: In the U.K., they're known as Pollock Bollocks.

[The verdict: I guess if you like the Filet-O-Fish, but can't handle the pressure of deciding how big a bite should be, you might like this.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me.

Copyright 2013 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

NPR

Diversity Sells — But Hollywood Remains Overwhelmingly White, Male

Women and minorities continue to be under-represented on TV and in film, both behind and in front of the camera, according to a new study — even though diverse films and shows make more money.
NPR

Silly, Saucy, Scary: Photos Show The Many Faces Of Ugly Fruit

Wonky produce can take on absurdly entertaining shapes. But one food activist says learning to love these crazy contours is key to stopping mounds of food waste.
NPR

Is The Battle Won And Done For Those Who Fought For Net Neutrality?

In a 3-2 vote on Feb. 26, the FCC approved new rules, regulating broadband internet as a public utility. NPR's Arun Rath speaks with Mat Honan, San Francisco bureau chief for BuzzFeed News, about the political implications of the vote.
NPR

A Neuroscientist Weighs In: Why Do We Disagree On The Color Of The Dress?

Robert Siegel speaks with Dr. Bevil Conway, a neuroscientist at Wellesley College, about the dress that has the whole Internet asking: What color is it?

Leave a Comment

Help keep the conversation civil. Please refer to our Terms of Use and Code of Conduct before posting your comments.