NPR : News

Sandwich Monday: The Butter & Sugar Burger

This is something that exists in Asia:

NPR still stubbornly refuses to pay for our travel — something about "sullying NPR's image abroad" and "Ian, how many times do we have to tell you, you don't really work here" — so we had to make our own version.

A disclaimer: We tried putting one together according to the specs of the image above, but no one could get down even a single bite. We lowered the butter content slightly.

Peter: I like the crunch of the sugar. It's like your teeth start decaying immediately.

Ian: Having buns full of butter is actually a great way to explain what happens to you when you eat buns full of butter.

Ian: Is this what it feels like to be a fois gras goose?

Peter: If there was a PETA for humans, they'd try to get secret camera footage of us being forced to eat this.

Robert: Butter AND sugar... I'm not sure which is the wolf and which is the sheep's clothing.

Eva: This is much more satisfying than the Splenda and 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' version.

Ian: I think the diet version of this is to go back in time and make completely different choices with your life.

Ian: I usually think of butter and sugar as ingredients, not standalone components. Like Hall & Oates.

Peter: Really. It's just butter, sugar, and flour. Like somebody tried to make cookies without reading the manual.

Leah: All of the eight push-ups I've done in my life... gone in an instant.

Eva: So white, so fluffy. It's like a pillow you can eat for breakfast when you wake up.

Ian: This is like eating Paula Deen's worst impulse.

[The verdict: do not attempt to make one that looks like the Freshness Burger picture. But with a thin spread of butter and some sugar, it's actually not bad.]

Copyright 2012 National Public Radio. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

NPR

Not My Job: Chance The Rapper Gets Quizzed On Saran The Wrapper

Chicago hip-hop superstar Chance the Rapper got his name because nobody believed a guy named Chancelor Bennett could rap.
NPR

At The Purple Pie Place, Where The Crusts Are Just Sweet Enough

Bobkat's Purple Pie Place is a fixture in Custer, S.D. From chicken pot pie to strawberry rhubarb, Trevor Yehlie and his family have been baking and serving pies at the local favorite since 2009.
NPR

Empire Strikes PAC And Other Punny SuperPAC Names

My Cat Xavier For a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow superPAC backed Hank the Cat in the 2012 Virginia Senate election. Xavier also cared about naps, treats, and prison reform.
NPR

Despite Host Controversy, Amazon Takes A Chance On 'Top Gear'

The trio that made Top Gear the world's biggest car show will return to the small screen in a new show for Amazon Prime. The BBC canned one of its hosts last year after a fight with a producer.

Leave a Comment

Help keep the conversation civil. Please refer to our Terms of Use and Code of Conduct before posting your comments.