(March 9) ABRAHAM THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? That's right-at least according to the book by Seth Grahame-Smith. The author is part of a panel at the Smithsonian's Ripley Center on the National Mall tonight at 6:45 p.m. He'll be dishing on "monster mash-ups," new novels that add zombies, vampires and sea monsters to classic texts. Known for abolishing slavery, few were privy to the 16th president's valiant fight against America's vampires, illuminated in Grahame-Smith's humorous tale.
(March 10-12) TIDE AND OASIS
Meanwhile, Happenstance Theater turns its attention to the Wild Wild West and the water during Farfar Oasis and Low Tide Hotel, tomorrow through Friday at the Clarice Smith Center for the Performing Arts in College Park, Maryland. With poetry, images and songs, "Farfar Oasis" captures the West's 20th century romantic notions of the Middle East, while "Low Tide Hotel" presents a theatrical scrapbook, maritime songs and literary excerpts.
(March 6-April 3) MONDO ANDRONICUS
And for the most legal visceral fun you can have in Washington, Molotov Theatre debases Shakespeare in the play Mondo Andronicus, showing to strong-hearted audiences at 1409 Playbill Cafe in Northwest D.C. The French-style horror fanatics take on a tale of Roman generals and vengeful queens, throwing in an expletive-laden, three-page version of Hamlet for good measure-a show meant for those with strong constitutions and a sizable sense of humor.